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Sadak!

M/s Manhole Constructors Pvt. Ltd.
Potholed Road, Pagdandi Marg
Bambai


The Commissioner
Municipality of Poorna

Dear Sir/Madam,

Sub: Bid with reference tender dated xx/xx/xxxx for construction of Roads within Poorna

With reference to your tender dated xx/xx/xxxx regarding construction of roads on your district; we would like to present our bid. The Municipality of Poorna City realises the need to build/repair the arterial and sub-arterial roads in the city. The construction is supposed to take place before the start of the rainy season. The roads to be repaired over a length of 42Kms had been originally constructed in 1942 and were last repaired 15 years ago. In addition, 16Kms of roads are to be newly constructed; they will connect the recently (5 years ago) inhabited parts of the city.

We would like to offer our services for construction as well as repairing of roads. The roads will be constructed using – ‘TarSand’ – a proprietary mixture developed by our firm which comprises of tar and sand (both being used in equal proportions). For repairing, a layer of TarSand will be put on the existing road while 3 layers of TarSand will be put on solid Mud for new roads.

Scope limitations

1. The roads should be expected to survive only the first rains. Following the first rain the condition of the roads may deteriorate exponentially following the Trucker’s Law (according to our proprietary TruckBus Methodology of Road construction)
2. The width of new TarSand layer to be laid on existing roads will be 10% less than the original road width. This prevents vehicles from nearing the (non-existent) sidewalks.
3. The Payment for the roads to our firm will be made before the onset of monsoon, irrespective of the status of the road construction/repairs.
[Please note that failure to meet this requirement may have negative effects on ‘informal payments’ made by our firm to select Municipality officials]
4. We are an equal opportunity employer hence reserve the right to employ males, females of all age groups in our work. It will be the Municipality’s responsibility to prevent bullying social workers from using laws like – The Child Labor (Prohibition & Regulation) Act 1986 – to sue us.

Our firm’s credentials are well known across the region. Starting with manhole construction business in 1990, we diversified into potholed road development in 1996. The recent floods in Mumbai have brought our excellent workmanship to light. Roads constructed by us were washed away in the very first rains and are even now fuelling the tyre-tube markets by causing increasing number of punctures in the Mumbai city. By constructing roads that last only one year we ensure that regular employment opportunities can be generated every year.

Further with our core competence in making manholes we are in a position to offer end to end services to the Municipality by constructing Roads and Manholes together. Under the combined offer, we would do a free replacement of stolen Manhole Covers for a period of one year.

Payment Details
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Recipient |Percentage of Fee Amount
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Municipal Commisioner |30%
Tendering Officer |20%
Secretaries |10%
Peons and Watchmen |5%
Manhole Const. Pvt. Ltd. |25%
Actual Construction Costs |10%
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Comments

  1. lol.... too good... can't stop myself lol....

    hope one of the news-editors read your blog (especially DNA types)!

    too good...

    ReplyDelete

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